The journey of our lives is a unique dichotomy. It is filled with times of weakness and times of strength. Days of sadness and days of joy. Moments drenched in tears and moments loud with laughter, and days clouded over in darkness or filled with light. Our circumstances may tumble us into seasons of chaos or despair. We have a choice to allow those times to crumble us, or we can choose to rise up above those situations that can pull us down.
Seven years ago today, our first born daughter was still born. What was to be a day overflowing with joy and a celebration of new life, immediately turned into a day where a veil of darkness overtook our hearts. My husband and I endured feelings, emotions, and questions we never expected to encounter in our life. There is so much I could write about that we experienced over those days, months, and now years. This year as I reflected on what happened seven years ago, I couldn’t help but think about the light. When I reference the light, I am talking about Jesus and how He carried us through so much devastation.
When we experience dark days in life, we have a choice to where we steer our focus. We can allow ourselves to be overwhelmed in the darkness of despair, or we can shift our focus to the light. I remember driving home from the hospital with an empty infant seat in the back of our car. We felt empty, drained and absolutely devastated. While driving we followed the curve of the road that is at the top of a hill, before it descends across a ravine- we were amazed at how the sun was shining over us. We both had tears in our eyes from all we went through that day, yet we were both struck at the sun. It appeared saturated in its colour, yet glowing with warm comfort. There are no words for me to describe how I felt as I gazed at it. As if God was directing us to look at it, because it looked different to us that evening. In that moment, the vision of the sun was a reminder to me to keep my eyes on the light. There were definitive times of grief when the darkness almost got me. I was at the end of my rope, ready to give up on all I knew in life – then one basic question resounded in my mind – do I still believe there is light? That was when my focus became clear, my focus to stay fixed on the light. It gave me strength to climb out.
There are times when the light becomes very dim, simply because dark situations are enclosing around us. In those moments our focus can become blurred by doubts, anger and fear. Even if the light becomes the smallest pinpoint at the end of a very dark tunnel, we can set our gaze on it. Eventually the light will take over the darkness. When I could see the smallest little glimmer of light, it reminded me that hope still exists – that I just had to keep going – one foot in front of the other – day by day and eventually that flicker of light would encompass me in warmth, comfort, and security again.
It is no mistake that our other daughters have names that reflect God’s grace and hope in our lives after our treacherous journey. Our second daughters name means ‘star’ and our third daughters name means ‘light.’ They are a sweet reminder to me that if you keep going, it may be long, it may take the most courage you have ever had to muster up – when you keep your gaze focused on the light – you can overcome your fears and have joy and peace again. As you walk through whatever wilderness is upon you, remember to fix that gaze on the light – the light is what will get you through the darkest of journeys. The light is hope, and that hope will give you true life!
∼live your journey true∼
journey true 
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